Saturday, April 08, 2006

There are many times when I ask myself... what have I done? I have completed two years of my life in an Engineering College, and I basically have nothing worthwhile to show for it. I always dreamt about college life... being free and careless... able to do anything you want... and life gave me just that. The two years in 11th and 12th where I worked my ass off for the Entrance Exams was for this one goal... and life gave me just that. But what have I done?

I always told myself that once I have enough spare time at my hands, once I am free, I can start doing stuff that I always wanted to do, but could never pursue in its entirety. Read a lot of books, learn another language, improve my quizzing skills, the lot. Now I am in a position to do whatever I want. And what have I done?

What I embarked upon is a creative and spontaneous process of time wastage. Free time is generally spent lying in bed wondering what to do. I have little academic pressure, but find it hard to keep up because of the nasty habit of postponing things. If there is a thing that has to be done, it can wait. Hell, I wanted to write a blog on this for two months!!

I personally happen to love reading. I have a computer right in my hostel room with tons of e-books on it. But the reading just does not happen. It is a bit of a game here, a bit of a tv show there, a bit of porn on the side, and wow, the day is over. It so happened that I went home for the weekend and read the first four books of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in 3 days. I started off with the fifth book, and it was time to get back to college. And that was that. Its been a month. I have the same book in my hostel room computer. But why read when you can do much more 'fun' stuff? And at the end of the day, its the end of the day.

It all boils to the present moment. We are facing our end semester exams now. I had an exam today, and I have an exam two days later. The plan was to come to the Computer Centre (Since its hot as a frying pan here, and the CC has AC) and study for our next exam. And here we are folks, me and my friend, writing blogs for the world to read, on the very felony I am committing now. Maybe public self-criticism is the only way to rectify the situation.